UNH Cooperative Extension - Family - Parent - Parenting

Parenting - School Age Children

Programs:

school age children Family Focus: Parenting the School Age Child - This program is offered to parents of school age children. UNH Cooperative Extension's Family & Consumer Resources educators or Family Focus parent educators deliver the program in communities. Parents and guardians learn about the development of the child from 6 through 11 years-of-age, positive discipline techniques, effective communication, stress management, and ways to help children succeed in school. Parents are helped to improve parent-child relations and raise healthy, happy, responsible, and productive children. Call your county UNH Cooperative Extension office for more information.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How old must my child be before I can leave him or her home alone?

ANS: There really is no right answer to that question. Rather than thinking about age, parents need to consider the developmental level of their children. Also, parents need to define what they mean by leaving their children home alone. For example, it may be appropriate to leave an 11 year old home alone for an hour on Saturday mornings while her father goes to the grocery store, but not appropriate to leave a 14 year old home with 2 younger brothers and sisters for 20 hours a week and the 14 year old spends the 20 hours playing games on the computer and talking on the phone with friends. However, research shows that children from 8 to 12 years of age are likely to be left home alone at least for a brief time. Depending on how you define self-care, about 25% of children in the third and fourth grades are in self-care, or home alone for some period of time.
What are some of the negative effects of leaving my child home alone?

ANS: Researchers have identified several negative effects. First, there are physical risks. Several hundred children a year die in home accidents. In general, children home alone are at greater risk than are children under adult supervision. Second, teachers indicate that unsupervised children are less likely to complete homework assignments, although the research on this is inconclusive at this time. Some research indicates that children who are home alone are at social risk. They may not have as many opportunities to interact with other children if their parents don't allow them to have friends visit. On the other hand, researchers have found children to be at risk for peer pressure and antisocial behavior when they are unsupervised and allowed to "hang out" with their friends.
What are some factors that play a part in self-care being successful for children? Can self-care be okay for my children?

ANS: Yes, but consider the following points:
1. If your child is developmentally ready for self-care. For example, does your child take responsibility for doing his or her homework, chores around the house, adhering to family rules, etc.
2. If the communication is open and honest between you and your child. For example, will your child feel free to talk to you about his/her feelings and challenges of being home alone?
3. The length of time your child is left alone and how frequently
4. The rules and guidelines. It's really important for you and your child to hold regular meetings and sit together to discuss self-care. Both you and your child together need to come up with the rules to be carried out and the consequences that will occur if the rules are broken. Rules can deal with anything from how much time your child watches TV to the number of chores that need to be accomplished during the time you are out of the house.
5. The presence of siblings and the ages of the siblings. Children and teens need time to spend with their peers, and can't be expected to baby-sit for long period of time every day.
6. The safeness of the community. Families who live in areas where crime is high generally want their children to come directly home from school, lock the door behind them, and not to go out or have other children in to visit. These children may then be at social risk.
7. The degree of education your child has regarding safety. For example, your child must know what appliances he or she can use and their proper use. Your child needs to know what to do if the phone rings or someone comes to the door.
Community resources available. For example, are there neighbors to call if your child cannot reach you? Are there homework help lines? Are there after-school activities so your child does not have to be home alone every day before or after school?

Publications:

Links:

Family Home & Garden Education Center

Other Sites

Parenting - School Age Children